Criminalized feelings

Discussions about pedophilia are highly taboo do you have or experience any problems with this then i can lead you to professionals. Because its important you are safe and others are safe.

We all are people with different emotions expressions and with feelings in general. Me for example i am a very closed person, i do not trust people, i have hatred feelings for people. I have feelings for children (Its also a reason why i have put myself in a institution to live save. So many people have a negative view on people that has feelings for children. And yes that is not weird at all if you see how many people come in to the news when they have hurt children. I do separate myself from them, my definition of my feelings is never harm children. People who do harm children have not the same feelings for them like i am. Child abuse is always disgusting and it make me angry when people come in to the news and i must take responsibility for it. Those feelings for children are related to me personally, because of my childhood and my abusive (psychically) parents and other adults. Me and the people came in the news are a huge different with me as a person. Never think we are all the same, because we are not. My feelings for children are a responsibility to protect them and to support all children in need. In short words i am a activist for all children on earth to hope they are happy and living a good and safe life. I am (a) sexual, platonic love, person. My intentions are different then for many others. I hope you learn something from and think about it.

I am not them, and they are not me.

Discussions about pedophilia are highly taboo do you have or experience any problems with this then i can lead you to professionals. Because its important you are safe and others are safe.

Living in a institution

Yes me, with all my problems lives in a protected environment read my short story From my birth till now i have many problems but i am not afraid to show myself. My real father was gone when i am was 4 years old my mother was a woman with lots of problems and lot of alcohol abuse. From 8 til 10 in a child institution from 11 til 20 in a child institution. After my age of 20 have done things that i want to forget fast, with a alcohol problem and social problems i have putting myself in a very dangerous environment. Depression PTSD/PTSS and hypochondriac obsessive problems my world was terrible. 10 years of alcohol abuse has complete destroys me in many forms. in 2016 i had to go to a alcohol clinic where i was for 6 months and yes i do not drink anymore! End 2016 i have put myself free in to a institution for adults and i feel fine where i am. I am not stupid or crazy, i am only myself with my thoughts and opinions. My attraction to children was for a time a huge problem (not in a sexual way) but to be accepted who i am, and with the statement i never have and will have the intention to harm children NEVER! its a part of my life, its a part that is created by the environment in my life. I am open minded and that has created lot of problems for me, but this is who i am with anti depression medication and sleeping medication for my sleeping problems. I am not unhappy with the thoughts so many children living in a terrible world where they are harmed by their environment. I am just a person just like you, but i am different and glad i am.

My short story

Most people that has read here, knows about my feelings for children. And this are not feelings like sexual only, its so much more then most people think and read in our most trusted judging media. My life? An alcoholic abusive family that put me away in child institutions, psychically abuse, the worst kind of family you can even imagine. 15 years in a institution and still are! In 2008 my activism put me in a dark and dark book that you can not also imagine. Put myself in the line to try others understand certain feelings, but its not easy to stand in-line where others abusing children in the matter i always have take distance from it. My intentions are separate feelings and deeds, real feelings for children includes never abuse them, never harm them, and try to protect them, that is my definition of my feelings. But so many people coming in to the news and are classified with this feelings that has nothing to do with my definition of feelings. And every time i feel the responsibility to correct it, i am not them, i do or have never think about that kind of things. The problem is if one hooligan is violence then all others are also. There is no more separation, we all get labeled and we all must suffer from others deeds. Still now after 15 years of alcohol abuse and scars from trowing away outside the society, i still see how many children are being abused in many forms! How they become the future slave of this capitalistic system. Me i can do nothing anymore then only write about it. It has broke me, it has damage me, but i never stop feeling for the ones they deserved to feel. I have not the intention to write about it, but sometimes i need to, and think i am more then only that, read my blog, read read and you will see i am not that person that media tells you. My mission will never change, to be there for all children, to give them a happy life, to let them know how this world works. And all people that abuse children must be terminated, because i am not them and they are not me!

If you have questions do not shame to ask them.

An end means a new beginning

Responsibility, feelings, worries are coming together end of 2010 for someone that i find special. She was just 10 years old and we had very difficulty to understand each other, that does not mean there wasn’t a connection, because there was a such huge connection. Let me clear things out, i traveled a lot between 2009/2015 and have connect with lot of people young and old, but this girl spring the most out of it. She was different, and i do recognize that because i am also different. We had contact on a weird way, still it was fun but the family was not that good as for most children in that country. After a few days she was gone and till now i know that this story is over, because she did not want contact with me (last week), 10 years later, much has changed, she is changed, the world has changed, so who know what others are telling to her about this controversial ‘friendship’ 10 years of worries, feelings, and the responsibility that she is happy and healthy. But that has ended today, she is grown up and make their own decisions and i do respect that. We can talk and thinking why, but that is not important anymore, what is done is done, still she have always a place, but the worries are gone and this book is finally closed. Sad? Yes, but this is life, all story’s need a end to begin new stories.

Love is terrible and beautiful at the same time

Love is a powerful emotion and feeling that drain your energy out of you. Me personal when i am in love it will never be over, i have not learn to close the book, if you al understand what i am trying to tell. Love is something that has not always to do with sexuality, its not the same, its different. I have problems with forbidden love, with one side way love, and its frustrating i can not get over it. So love is for me at the moment really frustrating, because why do i think about a girl from 10 years ago? Why do i want if she still remembers me? It goes deeper, with girlfriends from my childhood, i never seem to able to close the book, still feel so much love that it hurts, because i know she does not has the same feeling anymore. Love can be beautiful when you are at the same line, but when it ends the love does not disappear it always still there. So what is the solution? I am afraid there is no one.

Ont thing for sure love for someone can ‘t get away, it will be always part of you.

Stop hunting people

Discussions about pedophilia are highly taboo do you have or experience any problems with this then i can lead you to professionals. Because its important you are safe and others are safe.

Lets starts with the fact society has a obsession with pedophilia yes its very wrong to abuse children in anyway our in any form. People has to stop for playing judge, you are not the law, you are not the person to do this kind of things. Playing as a minor is not done either! So in theory the person who thinks you are a minor has no specific done anything that is forbidden by law. People with feelings for children are not all animals or criminal or anything else. People who do terrible things to children are not pedophiles at all, and most pedophiles has not the intention to hurt children. Society made it very difficult for people with feelings for children, its better that they have help instead of a witch hunt, that do not solve anything then creating violence. If you want something to do for children then think about what you can do to make it a better place for them in line of the law. So as i am already has told in a earlier article, people are blaming everyone and call everyone pedophiles what is in my definition not a pedophile. If you want a better world, then start with your self! I do not accept hunting people, i do never accept that others playing judge.

Knowing the definition about we judge

Are you crazy when you think different then others? Are you lazy when you do not follow main stream media? Thinking is free and unlimited. Yes there are good and bad thoughts but that is not different then others. Everyone has bad and good thoughts, and sometimes the free open minded people say it out loud. And that fears lot of people. We living in a predicted society where everything must be the same to live a life. All others that thinking different and out of line are a danger to there predicted environment.


Definitions are being manipulated by media and social media. We judge without knowing the definition about we judge. The problem is society in general, you want to read what you looking for to read.

So: is racism per definition violent?

So: Is denying the Holocaust wrong?

So: Are pedophiles automatic child abusers?

So: Make a political view you bad or wrong?

You leave me, but im strong

I have received your message and I’m very disappointed what you say to me. You let me down with the message its al my fault, but you was also there. You are not strong enough to be at my side, you are melted in the past that you only blame me for.

There is nothing much to say anymore i have do my part…